


the drug you never did

by lotts (LottieAnna)



Category: Women's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/F, Pre-Relationship, coming to terms, lots of observations, very little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22585531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/pseuds/lotts
Summary: Abby spends a lot of time thinking about Jesse.
Relationships: Jesse Compher/Abby Cook
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	the drug you never did

**Author's Note:**

  * For [binchmarner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/binchmarner/gifts).

> IF YOU FOUND THIS THROUGH GOOGLING, KNOW ANYONE MENTIONED IN THIS STORY PERSONALLY, OR ARE MENTIONED YOURSELF: please, please click away. This is a work of fiction and nothing written in this story is true. Any accurate information used in this story is publicly available information about public figures, the rest is a 100% made-up story that happens to borrow their names and faces. 
> 
> sometimes u hear jesse compher speak in an interview and have a whole gay meltdown about her voice idk 
> 
> title from hnly by hayley kiyoko.

I.

The view from this room is a little different from the one Abby’s used to, but she can still see most of Boston stretched out before her, just from a slightly higher angle. 

She’s not in her own bed, she realizes, a little belatedly. 

But she’s been in this bed before. 

Slowly, she turns over, sees a splash of red hair on the pillow next to her, feels bare calves against her own. 

“Jesse,” she says, nudging her. 

Jesse groans—an early morning noise Abby’s never heard from her before, but could’ve imagined—and reluctantly rolls over. “What?” 

“What’s happening?” Abby asks. “Why am I in your room?” 

“Do you not remember?” Jesse asks.

Abby remembers: getting drunk at a frat party, clinging to Jesse’s arm as they left, getting lost on the way home, wanting chips at 4 in the morning, being too loud in a 7/11, climbing up the stairs of this building, laughing and laughing and laughing down the hall—

Jesse says, “Your roommate had a guy over, we walked in on them, you decided to crash here.”

Oh, yeah.

That.

“Right,” Abby says, lying back down. “Can’t believe she didn’t text me. I would’ve just not come back.”

“In her defense, your phone died.”

“Jesus,” Abby says. “Do you have a charger?”

“You’re already plugged into, babe,” Jesse says.

The pet name in her sleep-low voice sends a jolt through Abby, something that lands deep in her stomach and starts to claw up to her chest, but she swallows it down and says, “you’re an angel.”

“I know,” Jesse says, pleased, before she rolls back over and falls asleep again.

…… 

II.

It’s New Year’s, which means that Abby’s going to put on a sparkly dress and go to a party and meet up with her friends, who are also going to be in sparkly dresses, and they’re all going to look hot, and it’s going to be great.

“Hey, Ab,” Jesse says. She’s changing into her dress, which means Abby’s back is to her.

“Yeah?” Abby says.

“You know that girl I told you about?” Jesse asks.

Abby ignores the knot in her stomach when Jesse mentions her. The girl in question is someone Jesse met in class, and she has short blonde hair and always wears bright pink lipstick, and a few days ago, Jesse spent an entire party talking to her, and— yeah. 

“What about her?” Abby asks.

“She’s going to be there tonight,” Jesse says.

And Abby— she’s been through this before. Whenever Jesse likes a new girl, Abby feels weird about it, and it’s not something she particularly likes dwelling on. She’s fine with the fact that Jesse likes girls; she’s just not the biggest fan of the idea of her best friend dating. But that’s petty and jealous and stupid and Abby’s problem, not Jesse’s, so.

“Should I play wingman?” 

Jesse snorts. “I don’t think that’s a great strategy, bud.”

“What does that mean?”

“I mean, I don’t think sending a tall hot blonde girl her way is really gonna do me any favors,” Jesse says. “Anyway, how do I look?”

Abby turns around; Jesse’s dress is all silver sparkles, but most of what she sees is Jesse’s skin.

God, she looks—

“Fucking amazing,” Abby says.

…… 

III.

Jesse is a good player, and Abby loves playing with her— loves scoring with her and skating with her and every second they spend together off the ice. 

Sometimes, when they’re feeling motivated, they wake up early to run at sunrise— usually towards the very beginning or very end of the school year, when the rest of the day is too hot to do anything outside. She and Jesse will lace up their sneakers and meet up outside their building, and Abby will always get their first, because Jesse Compher is the least punctual person on the face of the planet. 

Jesse at sunrise is something else, the sky reflecting off her hair, her freckled face in silhouette. Some people are quiet when it’s too early, but Jesse is Jesse— she never shuts up, and early in the morning is no exception. 

“I mean, like, I’m excited for summer or whatever, don’t get me wrong,” Jesse says, “but, like… I don’t want to spend the  _ entire  _ time with my family, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Abby says. Unlike Jesse, she doesn’t bother to try and string together sentences when she’s fully out of breath. 

“It’s that thing we’ve talked about,” Jesse says. “Where going home is just kind of weird? And my parents don’t realize it, like, at all, so we fight all the time and I have to feel guilty for it—” 

“You can just make plans without them,” Abby says. 

“I mean, yeah, but I still have to live under their roof.” 

“Then give yourself a break,” Abby says. “Schedule a vacation.” 

“Where would I go?”

“Come visit me,” Abby says, mostly without thinking. 

They jog in silence for a few seconds before Abby realizes that Jesse’s paused to think about it.

“Yeah,” Jesse says finally. “I might.”

…… 

IV.

Jesse in a bathing suit, Jesse in the sun, Jesse looking tired and happy and talking for hours on end, and Abby looking at Jesse and seeing nothing but stars, stars, stars.

……

V.

Abby is hungover, but she is at brunch with Jesse, so it could be worse, all things considered.

“You were funny last night,” Jesse says. 

“Yeah?”

Jesse nods, takes a bite of her potatoes. “You kept asking to kiss me, just, like, for fun.”

Abby pauses, her coffee halfway to her mouth. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jesse says. She’s talking with her mouth full, and it’s equal parts gross and endearing. 

“And that was… funny?” Abby asks.

“I mean, yeah, you weren’t serious about it,” Jesse says. “And I’m not, like, offended or anything.” 

“Alright,” Abby says awkwardly. “I’m, uh. Sorry if it was weird.”

“I said it was funny, relax,” Jesse says, and she’s laughing, but there’s something about it that Abby’s not quite buying—

Or maybe it’s just her own memory getting in the way, because she’s pretty sure that she hadn’t been… or, like, that she hadn’t not been…

Or.

Hm.

“Glad I could make you laugh,” Abby says, which earns her a genuine smile.

It gives her a lot to think about.

**Author's Note:**

> i do have plans to continue this so eyes out for chapter 2 someday

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] the drug you never did](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24688192) by [growlery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery)
  * [[podfic] the drug you never did](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25027966) by [silverandblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverandblue/pseuds/silverandblue)


End file.
